As of these characters being typed on my very cheap keyboard, it is nearly eleven o’clock into the night. I believe I’ve turned sour of the world at the moment. I’m depressed. I’m unimaginative when it comes to describing how i feel into verbs, so this is the best I got. I’m still shocked about what I want to do in life. Its pretty sad seeing me compared to everyone else. You can see the high flyers with their distorted faces hung on a wall in the school. In my maths lessons you are literally surrounded with the finest grains of the wheat in this very weedy school. One of my mates is going to work experience in France. Fucking France. That’s very foreign to what you see around here. (see what i did there? haha) The majority of the yeargroup decided to work locally by spending their two weeks gaining imaginary experience points working at their primary schools. I’m working at a digital media company at Kentish Town, Highgate. Sure, it sounds great but its work experience. It doesn’t even go well for me too since one of the honchos i conversed said that I might not be able to be going there for work experience. Therefore when the time arises I’ll be sitting on my arse for work experience. Which sorrowly sucks meatshafts. Many people depend on me to be successful. I don’t feel successful. There are times where i work my melting nipples off, and whats it for? I tried my best and it ended up being all flukes. I got an A for my exam result for maths. Thats 96/120. One less and I would end up with the dreadded B. Is this just luck? I hope not, But as much as hope that my judgements on this would be true, it probably is.
Sure, I have aspirations. I want to go to the behemoths of the Computer Science Universities; Imperial College, MIT, Caltech. I want to go to a good college. I want to do something worth my life instead of sitting on my fat arse doing apeshit and wasting my existence. I dont think i’ll get accepted to any of them. I spent this year fucking things up for me. I’ve been absorbed into the environment of which is girls, money and idiocy. I spent a good part of my time with girls, Spending hard earned money on redundancies, and being a absolute idiot. I don’t know how it came up to this. I thought I was a good person. Instead I end up fucking things up and make it worse for everyone. Thats how I feel at the moment. I’ve turned sour. I hate this neighbourhood. I hate the way it changed me. I want to stay who i was several years ago: A computer geek with a great childhood and a high achiever. Now i’m struggling to get my Grades, lost in programming and socially adept with a mind so poignant its amazing how I live through the day to see it again.
I know this is sad, and that I’m some kind of modest and socially concerned but I have my arse on the line. When you prove you can do something, and you fail to reach that standards you fall. What comes up must go down. Its happening now. And what is it all towards? Its as if life is some kind of race. We’re all competing to die. We only live to die. That’s what everything narrows down to. Wether we make the most of the time we have is up to the person. I just ruined mine. Sure, I’m fifteen years old and im only a sixth of my life through. But if you fuck up now how can you live it right for the rest of your life? I cant learn new things later. I’m a lazy fat arsed cowbag that is comparable to Musolini of his respective field. I’ve gone down. I hate myself.
*All of my blogposts so far are so verbally repressing, I do apologize but i feel like smashing my fingers onto my keyboard typing this. Things gotta come out.
I enjoy having fun. I love fun. Its what I do most in the school other than studying or whining. Its what I do best. But sometimes you just have to say No to fun that turns out to be silly. Sure, we make mistakes, but that is what Losers say. Renember that Spongebob Squarepants episode where Mr. Squarepants sings to Plankton about the definition of Fun? The F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me - N is for anywhere and any time at all down here in the deep blue sea? That context cannot be related to this content.
One of the Head-Honcho English teachers told me to join this 4 day
session event lecture type shit to improve and make horde of my Politics Debate ranting skills. It consists of a group of people going to UCL (Not UEL, which is literally down the road, so therefore I have to cough up monopoly currency to pay for the trip there) and talk literal shit to a group of twenty girls and six boys. four Of the boys come from my school.
“Oh lordy theres girls there and potential sexysex for boy like you!!!”
No. I’ve been to debates. You don’t want to have sex with girls smarter than you are. (This only applies to males. Girls, you can continue going crazy) It may be personal ego type thing, but no. Not to mention the fact that the overhauling majority of girls who go to these kinds of things are either ugly to a limit that it is borderline illegal (apologies) or big mouthed. One of my fellow workwhores told me that performing coitus with a big mouthed person is great since she can perform great oral intercourse, hence the mouth is, ya know *hehe*.
Nonetheless I will not sacrifice four bum-ridden days talking about politics and ladynerds and bigotry about a fat blonde mayor, Prime Minister Forehead and a Polish/Jewish McChicken Sandwich Combo.
what the fuck?
Caine’s Arcade is unfortunately very touching.
Hello everyone. I am very pessimistic and very obtuse which at times makes me a belligerent armchair Hitler. I see and think different (Bonus point for the stupendous Apple reference) from my environment, which unfortunately consists of fat people in sportswear and titted ducks. And weed! The local fragrance that many people of this neighbourhood endeavour and endorse so well that the government has a problem with it.
So, what is this? The entirety of the blogs existence is for me to continue and expand on my nonsensical rants, opinions and obloins, however you so choose. I originally chose twitter as my method of preaching, but it sucks dick for not allowing more than 140 characters. Though its completely understandable, It shouldn’t be classed as a blogging platform. This blog should have posts so bitterly random, it could be on the topic of technology, and maybe flow all the way to people.
But whatever the post, I hope you enjoy reading my blogposts as much as I enjoy writing them. Thanks! :)